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Post by Shadowlark ¢¾ on Feb 21, 2011 22:09:55 GMT -6
Pokedex
Warning: Mass tables under spoiler tags. Open with caution.
Gen 0: Laokia| -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- | -sprite- |
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"Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?"
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OKAY. Stuff said here is not neccesarily my point of view. I'm just getting into character to satisfy my muse so she doesn't chew me out. Hope it's inspiring. XP
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Post by Shadowlark ¢¾ on Feb 21, 2011 22:39:02 GMT -6
Entry I;; Seeing the world another way
It hasn't been easy, living how I have for these past three years, not one blood connection left in the world that I know. Ever since the explosion I've been living with my old professor, Layton, who had since retired from his teaching career, as all the elderly do. I suffered from night terrors. I couldn't eat or sleep. I remember how it felt to have a hole blasted right through your heart that just won't heal, that empty feeling inside, like you haven't got a purpose. And for a while, I didn't. I must admit that sometimes I still do feel that way, unable to do anything about it. Depression and low self-esteem hits me like a brick wall, and my foster family swooped in and saved me from the yawning abyss of despair and insanity.
Had it not been for them I'd be in an Asylum right now, hugging my knees and crying tears that would be nonexistant, as I would've run dry. No one else knew me as much as my parents had, no one else knew what words would cure and what words would harm. I would still be suffering, or dead, because I would not eat nor sleep nor drink. No one would make me. I know it's a bit of a traumatic way to think of how things could have blown by, and it seems like an exaggeration, but it isn't. I assure you, that is how I felt before I began to recover after months of being lost to the world.
It isn't fun thinking you've got no one, knowing you're on your own, with people who create the illusion that you've got someone caring at your side but really it's all a lie, a happy fantasy to keep you contented. When you discover you're being lied to, you're crushed, like a beetle underfoot. You suddenly lack a purpose on earth, there's nothing more that can be done for you. It's a dreaded feeling, a feeling that you need revenge, revenge on all the people who stole your life from you, sucked your soul away. And no matter how far you chop it down, it always grows and grows and comes back to haunt you, and you need someone sane enough to cut away the weed that plagues your mind. I've come to fear the day when no one will be there to stop it, when I'm alone one day, and it consumes me before help is reached.
I really do fear it, this insanity that festers in the dark cobwebby corners of my mind, trying to grow and breed Hell. But I don't let it, no, because I've always had someone there to help me believe. Oftentimes I forget about it, I forget anything that ever happened, like my life has always been lived out with my fosters. it's all quite normal, but it's that fantasy illusion eating away at you. You can't live in a state of fantasy all the time. It is unhealthy. You forget to learn how to live in reality.
Now, I had to live in that fantasy for some time. A long time. Three year's time, two of which I spent struggling with myself, trying to live in that fantasy government had created for me when it destroyed my life for the sake of progress. It's a horrible feeling in your gut when you live that way, because in the back of your mind, you know, and in the back of your mind, it's a breeding ground for rage and revenge and hate and insecurity. You can't live that way forever. You can only live it for so long, so very long, until you snap. Until it snaps in two. You realize what you're becoming and you must fight it. Fight it with all your might.
-tearstains litter the page now, and the handwriting becomes shaky-
Too much fantasy forms you into a monster. My full dosage were those three years. Some's dose is a mere one month. Some wait too long and become consumed, and they can never turn back. Somehow I don't pity them- perhaps that's the part of me that died ever so long ago. It seems like a long time, but the years flew by, leaving countless echoing memories contained in their own little sections of the brian. Memories are chaos, and you've got to contain them, or they will cause corruption and horror. The ones you'd rather forget will breed emotions rather not felt, and everything will spiral out of control. The only thing around the clock fantasy is good for is helping you remember how to keep the chaotic memories in check.
I know you're probably shaking your heads right now. I know you probably don't agree. But this is my opinion, the opinion of Luke Harris. You've got to keep that in mind. Everyone has their own view on things, and I have mine. Mine has changed. My third eye has opened and my world has expanded another hundred thousand miles. I've learned about my power, however small, and am nurturing it. It told me of danger before. I trust it to keep me out of harms way when it comes to this monster in my head. I trust that when I gain control over its energy that it will help me cure myself.
Until then, I can only hope. I can only pray. As long as there is hope, there is foundation. There is a way. When you lose hope... It's the end. You've lost everything. You can't loose sight of hope, ever, no matter how bad things get, because hope will always lead you out. Even if it is the hard way- it's the way you were destined to be lead. You can't loose sight of hope. You'll become hollow, empty, a walking void like I did. You can't.
Now the scene unfolds around me. As I walked along the worn dirt path, a picture was painted in the frostbitten air. Nothing more beautiful than the barren trees, dusted with frost, few shrivelled brown leaves clinging to the scorched bark, shuddering against the cold wind. That is what I saw, the beauty of snow, the beauty of frost. Today it snows lightly, covering the ground in a light coating of fluffy powder. Painting the way to my new life that I have chosen to lead. I've flown the nest, and this is my saving grace, my signature, my imprint on the world. The snow. Sincerely I do hope it is a bit warmer in the lab, however, as my hands are growing stiff now.
Until next time..... Luke Harris
[/right] Entry I;; Seeing the world another way
Continued
I have since left the laboratory, with a snaran in hand. He is a loyal one, with a serious mindset and a fairly polite attitude- though, as reptiles can be, is sensitive to the cold. Anton will be his name, yes, Anton, after the blossoming flower. He has much potential to grow and become a magnificent beast, although he will likely never learn to fly with others of his dragon brethren. I sincerely hope that I can find him a partner soon, a decent young lady snaran with a kind heart and soul that he will adore. I am a breeder after all, and seeing how they react will help me further my research on the vast subject that is pokemon.
I intend to return to the labs some day, perhaps to train a little in the fields, or perhaps to find a new partner. The fee isn't too large, not too large at all. However, I will have to find a pokemon that knows fly first- well, that's not true. During my short first visit in Professor Ashley's lovely field, I stumbled across a hoothoot with an appalling fear of snakes... I should hope to have his nervousness repaired soon, since he will be living with Anton, who will only get bigger and... I do not want to put him through constant stress. This owl I have decided to call August, as he will become a great, dignified creature- but he is also quite venerable. A curious creature at heart, I can see- his antics will surely make me laugh.
Now, as I sit here on this rock, I come to reflect upon my life again. Turbulance has been a constant matter in this life of mine, but it's not my time to die yet, whether it be of misery or of something far worse. My third eye tells me this much. I know, this talk of a third eye, it will confuse some people- it is simply a reference to some psuedo-psychic energy that some beings posess. It is obviously stronger in most psychic pokemon, and, as for myself, I am nurturing it, for I believe that it shall help me recover, and unlock doors to different realms that I have yet to venture into. I shall inform you more as I travel and expand my horizons, but until then, I will leave it at this.
....... 
A small creature has just emerged. I sketch it here, above. It appears to be a shinx, patterned with contrasting blues and hues of green, with iridescent feathers for a tail and a small cottonball at its throat resembling a cloud. Its ears have morphed into beautiful, wing-like shapes.. Adorable, if I must state it that way. She's a curious one, and I believe she wants to be my friend... I'll close here.
Until next time..... Luke Harris[/right] [/center] [/blockquote][/blockquote][/sub] |
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Post by Shadowlark ¢¾ on Jun 25, 2011 19:33:37 GMT -6
Entry II;; Time: How the clock runs
Time. The clock ticks forward, never backward. It's something people are always looking to meddle with, always looking to change. There's speculation of time travel and such, yet no one has ever been able to pull it off... At least, never been able to pull of the concept of transporting themselves backward in time. People wonder how it would work; if they would be capable of completely disrupting the future they know, or if they would be an unseen entity, stalking around and seeing things previously unable to be seen. So many questions would be able to be answered... And so many things would be at stake of being destroyed.
There will always be people seeking to change their pasts. There will always be corrupts, people with delusional schizophrenic minds that could use time travel for the wrong reason and significantly change somebody's life. The amount of information needed to do that would be vast, however, it could be done, and the future could be changed forever. For instance, there might be no electricity, no towering monoliths within cities, no pokeballs... Yes, it could be that big of a change. Or it could impact just one person. However, that one person, or people around them, could have their lives crushed because of the smallest change in their past.
Why have I chosen to talk about time today? Well, I certainly don't know. Just an inkling of a thought that turned into an idea, and that idea expanding into something greater, so great that I feel I must write about it in spare moments. You see, time is a bigger thing than most believe it is. Most don't even give time a second thought. The only thing they think big about is time travel. And time travel is a rather insignificant idea in my mind, as we do not need it. Our curiosity about the future is filled each time a second passes, for every second, you are taking a step into the future, and that becomes the present.
Time is closely interconnected with space, or, so they say. If you are bending time, you are also bending space. Speculation is that the possibility for time travel could lie near a black hole, far off in outer space, where matter is constantly being twisted and contorted. However, that is just a speculation. There is so much speculation, it seems that there is no longer room for raw facts, raw evidence, raw anything.
It is kind of like the theory of extra terrestrial beings. There are so many mysteries at our feet that lead us to believe that there is life out in the stars, and indeed, there likely is. However, I won't get in too deep about it; as that is not my focus in this journal entry.
Let's loop backward to time travel. Adding onto theories as to what happens when we travel back in time.... Some believe that time travel to the past could result in a paradox; while others believe that this is not possible due to the fact that mother nature ultimately prevents any kind of paradox.
As for travelling forward into the future, well, that has already been done... Insignificantly. You see, as you approach the speed of light, your clock slows down. You've heard of the concept of lightyears, yes? Well, light travels 186,000 miles every second. You would be travelling that fast, every second, while everyone else's clocks were the same. Yours would be slown down by a significant amount (achieving the speed of light or accellerating close to the speed of light is the only way to "travel into the future", as far as we know. There is speculation about other means of time travel that do not involve drastic changes at home, as this method provides).
So, say you travelled to the nearest star to Earth- Alpha Centauri. That is 4.3 lightyears away. To astronauts travelling at the speed of light, it would feel like a mere two months; however, back on earth, roughly eight years would have passed. So, round trip, it would've been roughly 16 years, subtracting the time they spent in the Alpha Centauri system. So, when they got back, they would be in the future, technically.
Well, all of this math is beginning to make my head spin- perhaps we'll pick up on this topic later.
Until next time.....
[/i] Luke Harris[/right][/sub][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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